A surreal meal

I was going to share this back in December, just after it happened, but I didn't get to it and I lost track of the file where I had written it down. I just came across it again, and I realized that it still strikes me as surreal. Imagine this: you're traveling. The plane makes a fuel stop, everyone gets off for the hour it takes. But they discover a mechanical problem, and the one hour stretches... into 9, and you're trapped in the aiport terminal behind the security gate, with no food. Finally the decision gets made to put you up for the night; first, however, they have to feed you. So they take you to what amounts to a cafeteria... steam tables, trays, point and they slap the food on the plate. It's 11:30 PM, you're tired, you're cranky, they're not expecting you, and you walk up to get served, and...:

Me: So, what meat do you have?

Food Drone: [points at pasta] This.

Me: Oh... is there meat in it?

Drone: No, it's pasta.

Me: Oh, so if I want meat...?

Drone: [points] There's bacon.

Me: As an entree?

Drone: [shrugs]

Me [spotting egg-muffins in warming case behind him]: What about those?

Drone: Those are for breakfast.

Me: But, she's cooking eggs...

Drone: Yep.

Me: So is it breakfast now, or dinner?

Drone: Oh, it's both.

Me: So, then, can I have one of those?

Drone: No, they're for breakfast.

Me: *blink*

Drone: [shrug]

Me: [sigh] I'll take some pasta, and some bacon.

Drone: Sorry, only one meat.

Me: *blink*

Drone: OK, I'll give you bacon too (puts nearly uncooked soggy bacon on plate.)

Me: [walks to other line, sees nice crispy bacon] Oh, can I have some of that bacon?

Drone2: No, you already have bacon.

Me: But it's hardly cooked and [realizing as I touch it] it's ice cold.

Drone2: Sorry, I can't give you more.

Me [irritated, waving handful of greasy cold undercooked bacon]: Then I'll give you this back!

Drone2: [runs away]

Drone3: Can I help you?

Me: Yes, please, I'd really like some cooked bacon.

Drone3: No problem.

Me: Can I get you to throw this soggy mess of undercooked stuff away?

Drone 3: Sure.

Me: Seriously, would you eat that?

Drone3: Nope.

Me: So why serve it to me??

Drone3: [shrug]


Maybe you had to be there...