Oh, okay.... I'll do it

I should be sleeping. In fact, I was just lying in bed about to fall asleep (couldn't sleep earlier, and a VERY early wakeup coming. Sigh). Then I remembered NaBloPoMo. Wasn't going to do it this year. Mostly because I seldom keep it up very long afterward. But I always want to. And I enjoy it.

So, fine. You got me. I'm gonna do it again. Stay tuned, because this time the ride might be a bit bumpier...

A surreal meal

I was going to share this back in December, just after it happened, but I didn't get to it and I lost track of the file where I had written it down. I just came across it again, and I realized that it still strikes me as surreal. Imagine this: you're traveling. The plane makes a fuel stop, everyone gets off for the hour it takes. But they discover a mechanical problem, and the one hour stretches... into 9, and you're trapped in the aiport terminal behind the security gate, with no food. Finally the decision gets made to put you up for the night; first, however, they have to feed you. So they take you to what amounts to a cafeteria... steam tables, trays, point and they slap the food on the plate. It's 11:30 PM, you're tired, you're cranky, they're not expecting you, and you walk up to get served, and...:

Me: So, what meat do you have?

Food Drone: [points at pasta] This.

Me: Oh... is there meat in it?

Drone: No, it's pasta.

Me: Oh, so if I want meat...?

Drone: [points] There's bacon.

Me: As an entree?

Drone: [shrugs]

Me [spotting egg-muffins in warming case behind him]: What about those?

Drone: Those are for breakfast.

Me: But, she's cooking eggs...

Drone: Yep.

Me: So is it breakfast now, or dinner?

Drone: Oh, it's both.

Me: So, then, can I have one of those?

Drone: No, they're for breakfast.

Me: *blink*

Drone: [shrug]

Me: [sigh] I'll take some pasta, and some bacon.

Drone: Sorry, only one meat.

Me: *blink*

Drone: OK, I'll give you bacon too (puts nearly uncooked soggy bacon on plate.)

Me: [walks to other line, sees nice crispy bacon] Oh, can I have some of that bacon?

Drone2: No, you already have bacon.

Me: But it's hardly cooked and [realizing as I touch it] it's ice cold.

Drone2: Sorry, I can't give you more.

Me [irritated, waving handful of greasy cold undercooked bacon]: Then I'll give you this back!

Drone2: [runs away]

Drone3: Can I help you?

Me: Yes, please, I'd really like some cooked bacon.

Drone3: No problem.

Me: Can I get you to throw this soggy mess of undercooked stuff away?

Drone 3: Sure.

Me: Seriously, would you eat that?

Drone3: Nope.

Me: So why serve it to me??

Drone3: [shrug]


Maybe you had to be there...

When it comes to morale tours, this is the stuff...

Every once in a while, while we're down here in the hot sandy place-- Oh, didn't I mention that I've been in the hot sandy place since just before Christmas? No? Ah. Well, I have been. But I'm going home soon, so no matter. Where was I?

Ah, yes. Every once in a while, we get a morale tour through here. Think USO, Bob Hope, like that, only not as cool. The Washington Redskins Cheerleaders. A band called "Saving Abel." Four NFL guys whose names I frankly couldn't be bothered to learn (although I am grateful that they took the time to come visit, really, because there are some real football nuts here, it's just that I'm not one of them, and... oh, tangent again. Sorry.) They're OK, these tours, and as I just said, they do show that folks care, and they do boost morale, if you're into whatever they're famous for.

Which leads me to today. Take a look at these guys.



Do any of them look familiar? Maybe not, but I know you know at least three of the names. They're arranged onstage from left to right in approximate order of coolness, in my opinion. Ready to find out who they are? OK, here goes.



Robert Gilliland. Former chief test pilot at Lockheed's Skunk Works. The first guy EVER to fly an SR-71, and the guy who flew the first flight of every production SR-71 made. He has spent more time travelling at Mach 2 and Mach 3 than any other human being. (And he's arguably the least cool of these guys. Whoa. And why doesn't he have a wikipedia page?)



Steve Ritchie. Retired USAF Brigadier General, and America's last fighter ace. Shot down 5 MiG-21s in Vietnam, including two in one day (within 2 minutes). In 2007, at the age of 65, he requalified on the F-104 Starfighter, which he still flies for fun and profit.



Jim Lovell. Yes, that Jim Lovell. No, he doesn't look much like Tom Hanks, but this is the guy who made the most famous understatement of all time, "OK, Houston, we've had a problem here."



Gene Cernan. Commander of Apollo 17, and the last man to walk on the moon. Who could possibly be cooler than that?



This guy. Neil Armstrong. You don't know how tempted I was NOT to hyperlink his name, because if you don't know who he is, shame on you.

Cheerleaders? Football players? Pfft. These guys are literally names from your kids' history books.

It was a real treat, part of a "Legends of Aerospace" tour. The moderator for the panel was David Hartman, former host of Good Morning America (and, incidentally, former USAF officer...) They started with a very cool intro to a darkened room: "Only 12 people have ever walked on the moon. Two of them are here with us this evening. Only three people have ever piloted a crippled spacecraft safely to earth. One of them... is here with us this evening." And so on... Then a multimedia presentation about the careers of each of them, followed by a panel discussion led by Hartman.

At one point Neil Armstrong was telling about fears that the lunar surface might not be solid enough to support the lunar module. He described how careful they were to be prepared to take off on a moment's notice, if need be, but as it turned out, the surface was firm and rocky.

"A lot like this place, actually!" said Cernan, causing the audience (and Armstrong) to break into laughter.


I got a bunch of pictures, but they're lots of "Lovell looks amused" or "Cernan seems interested" types of things. Cool, in their own way, but I'm not gonna post them all. I'm just really happy that I was able to go. This type of tour really is the stuff... the RIGHT stuff.

Gee, good thing no one's keeping track this month...

Slacker. Ah, well.

I just wanted to point out a couple of weird things about life here in England.

First: What's up with this? The first time I encountered it was back when I was starting the Tae Kwon Do thing with David (which we don't do anymore). A little girl in the class was spelling her name: "My name is spelled Luh Ih Luh Luh Yeh." Yep, her name was Lilly. I thought, how weird. But now our Lily is in what they call Year 2 of school, equivalent to 1st grade, and doing spelling tests, and I'll be darned if she doesn't spell things that same way: House - "Huh oh uh suh eh" Train - "Tuh ruh ah [rhymes with at] ih nuh" and so on. Now, maybe I'm not remembering my school days as clearly as I used to, but didn't the letters used to have names? And wasn't learning those names part of kindergarten and first grade? What gives?

Second: Ok, I know I'm not the only one, because I saw a few other similar comments when I was looking for a picture to borrow for this. There's a cartoon on TV here, don't know if they have it in the states, called "Peppa Pig." The drawing style is rather simplistic. Which makes the Pig family look a lot like, um... well, here:



... especially Daddy Pig, with his stubble. If you don't see what I'm talking about, well, good for you, I guess, but is it just me, or is someone having a little naughty chuckle?

Ouch. Oh, and... ouch.

Back to work this week after 3 weeks of leave... which means back to working out. It's funny how quickly you fall back to the "workouts make me sore" level.

And today, since I'm getting ready to go off to the sandy place again for a while, I had to get a blood test... and four immunizations. I am a human pincusion.

Oh, and yes, I know I forgot to blog yesterday. Ah, well.

< >

(That title is pronounced "drawing a blank")

First day back at work after 3 weeks leave, and first day back to work here in England in 4 months, and first day back in this building, with this group of people, in over a year.

My mantra for the day was, "Don't ask me, I'm new here."

I'm tired. Can I have some more vacation, please?

Casting cost: 3 "awesome" mana

I just got to play a game of Magic: The Gathering on XBox Live with Wil Wheaton! What a blast! Wil was... great. It was very casual, and fun. They had 6 Magic-playing celebrities, including Wil, playing "just folks" who had signed up earlier. The others included Richard Garfield, the inventor of the game, and Darwin Kastle, who's apparently enough of a Magic god that they put his face on one of the cards (Avalanche Riders). [edit: apparently they also put his face on it because, well, he designed the card.] However, of all the pros who were there, Wil was the one I wanted most to play with--and not only because he's the only one I had a chance of beating! I really enjoyed playing with him, and chatting with him. We talked about the game he had just played, I fanboy-gushed a little (not too much, really!), and we talked about our families, which was nice, and one of the things that makes reading his blog such a pleasure. (Oh, and Wil, if you're reading this, my copy of "Happiest Days" was where I thought it was after all... and I'm number 54.)

I said this to Wil, but I don't know if he believed me: Just before he invited me to play, I had gotten an invite from Richard Garfield... which I was too stupid to remember how to accept. He pinged me twice, while I pushed buttons,trying to remember how to accept the invite. By the time I had figured it out, he had moved on. I was disappointed, because... Richard Garfield! But then, just 5 minutes later, I got the invite from Wil, and I have to say, I was actually glad I had flubbed Richard -- because if I had been playing him, I probably wouldn't have gotten to play Wil. Sorry, Richard.

Rock me...

The other day, Susie and I were flipping through the on-demand movies we could get from our BT Vision box (it's kind of like a TiVo, only not quite), and we saw a title that just sort of leapt out at us: "Hamlet 2".

Our thoughts mirrored those of one of the characters in the movie: "Doesn't everyone like, die, at the end of the first one?"

Well, yes. But the movie isn't the sequel, it's about the sequel. Rather, it's about a failed actor turned failing drama teacher who, in a bid to save his school's drama program, writes "Hamlet 2." You see, he thinks that if Hamlet had just had a second chance, everyone could have survived. So, somehow, Hamlet gets a time machine...

I know, sounds like a winner, right? But wait, there's more: In his travels, he manages to pick up Jesus, and they go on their trek through time together...

Really, that's all we know about the play, but the movie, it turns out, is pretty darn funny. It stars Steve Coogan, a British comedian most famous in the U.K. for his character "Alan Partridge" who is, I believe, the inspiration for "Ali G."

It's definitely not for kids, but if you want a stupid funny movie, you could certainly do worse...

That wagon sure has a bumpy ride...

This is gonna be a short post. Mostly because I don't want to admit that, after all the work we did over the spring and summer to lose weight, the past 4 weeks has undone about half of it for me. Yes, I'm still down about 15 pounds, which is good, but I was down nearly 30.

I know why I/we fell off the wagon, and even though it wasn't a "good" reason, I can (sort of) forgive it. But Susie and I are officially back on the wagon as of today.

There are people at work I haven't seen in 5 months or more, and some of them are likely to say "Hey, you've lost a little weight." But I had been hoping to hear them say, "Wow, you lost a TON of weight!"... which I had.

I'm disappointed in myself. But, I'm getting back on the horse... or wagon... or bike... or whatever other metaphor you like.

Vroom!

If you know me, you know I'm really not a motorhead. I'll probably never buy a "Car and Driver" magazine, but I'll read one at the barber shop. And yet I find myself enthralled by Top Gear, a BBC show dedicated to all things "car." It's not about how to build a carburetor, or turning your Mazda into a rally car. It's about the cars you wish you could drive. These three blokes (Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May), along with their "tame racing driver" The Stig, manage to get their hands on some amazing vehicles and play around with them on their own track. And I mean amazing... Such as:

A Bugatti Veyron
A Ferrari FXX
A Pagani Zonda
A Gumpert Apollo (huh?)

But that's not all they do. They drive rally cars, they drive minivans, they drive econoboxes. Not willingly, those last two, and always with an eye toward, "yeah, it'll cart your shopping home, but is it fun? Is it well made? Is it really any better than the others?" All of which in a very amusing, tongue-in-cheek, "can you believe we get paid for this" sort of way.

And then there are the challenges: 1) Leaving from Basel, Switzerland, three cars race to Blackpool, England - on one tank of fuel. 2) From a standing start, can a Bugatti Veyron drive one mile, turn around, and reach the starting point faster than a Eurofighter can take off, climb a mile, turn around, and return to that same starting point? 3) Can you make a convertible minivan?

I'm told it can be seen in the US on BBC America. If you have ever seen a Lamborghini Murcielago drive by the other way on the highway and thought, "Ooh, cool!" tune in. You'll thank me.